Spawn of Abaddon V20
by duke2
Summary: Abaddon has lost what little sanity he had and has created a new Chaos Force unlike any the Galaxy has ever seen! But there is probably a good reason for that.
1. Daka'nal's New Command

In celebration of the new Chaos Space Marines Codex, the brilliant new Chaos Spawn models and also the new Daemon Codex coming sometime next year (disregard this after everything is out) I redid this story. Anyway, I got a lot of positive feedback about the humour so I've tried to do more of the same but as for an actual story, well there is one but for the moment lets just call this an introduction to the concept.

Abaddon has been driven mad…er, by all the singing in my other fic (The lighter side of the thirteenth Black Crusade) and has formed a new Chaos Force that will be led directly by the newly ascended (or descended) Daemon Prince, Daka'nal.

Begin Transmission++

Nameless world deep within the Eye of Terror+

Abaddon strode purposefully toward the cliff edge with the Daemon Prince Daka'nal keeping pace with him, a respectful three steps behind. At the cliff edge both Abaddon and Daka'nal looked down at the amassed Chaos force below, "What do you think of your new army, Commander?" Abaddon enquired with a self-satisfied smirk.

The Daemon Prince stood silent in the face of his new command for a moment before turning to his master to respond.

"Those are Chaos Spawn…with bolters?"

Below the cliff edge a large group of Chaos Spawn stood happily waving their shiny new…ah things, which they were told are fully loaded. Fully loaded was good, right?

Abaddon nodded knowingly, "Yes, but don't worry these are just a single squad! The rest of the army is on the Planet Killer!" he explained.

"THOSE ARE CHAOS SPAWN…WITH BLOODY BOLTERS!"

Abaddon nodded again, "I understand what you're saying, Commander. You want a demonstration of their abilities!" Abaddon pointed to several simple circular targets in the distance, "Spawn! Your Commander has ordered a weapons test!" with that the Chaos Spawn all turned in the general direction of the targets and began firing.

Unfortunately they neglected to stop randomly waving their bolters as they did so.

After the shooting stopped, because the bolters were out of ammo, Daka'nal hold his bolt-battered body of the floor and a thought entered his battered head, 'This might not be the glorious command I envisioned…ouch'.

Planet Killer+

Bridge+

Daka'nal, Daemon Prince of the Black Legion, stood upon the bridge of the awesome Planet Killer with but two thoughts, 'Why is there a Chaos Spawn at the helm? And why is it wearing a hat that has "Helmsmen" written on it?"

Before he could ask one of the Tech Adapts, who were all wearing similar hats that read "Tech A" on them. Abaddon entered with a Chaos Spawn following close behind, "This is the Sargent assigned to the squad you inspected earlier" Abaddon explained, gesturing to the Spawn who was wearing a hat that read "Sargent".

As Daka'nal massaged the bridge of is nose a young Adapt walked up to Abaddon and presented a pen and notebook, "Can I have your autograph?" he requested. At this point Daka'nal noticed that the wires and metal plates on the youths body were not actually integrated into his flesh.

Abaddon sighed, "Oh not another one! Look it's _Tech __A_ for _Adapt_! I don't know what Star Trek is and I'm not holding a convention for people who do, so go away!" he demanded.

"All right, Tech Adapts don't wear hats any more!" Abaddon commanded irritably.

"My Lord Abaddon, as Commander I feel I should point out that it troubles me that our security could be breached so easily. And by a mere boy no less!"

Abaddon scowled at the offending youth "You see? Thou hath troubled the Commander of my grand army…I cast thee out!" the boy paused for a moment before shuffling off dejectedly.

Daka'nal opened his fang-lined mouth to speak but seemed to lose the words before he could. Sighing defeated, he shuffled off the bridge muttering something about executing interlopers not telling them to leave, and why the Shakespearean speech…whoever that was?

+Holy Terra+

Secret meeting place of the ancient cult of TREK+

"So this isn't the Tech Adapts assignment office?" a confused Tech Adapt asked a man in yellow after he had finished explaining to the Tech Adapt that he wasn't a first Lieutenant but a Captain. (1)

Planet Killer+

Hanger Bay+

Daka'nal inspected the vehicles under his command. These, at lest, were all proper components of a Chaos force…except for the Chaos Spawn with its 'arms' sticking out the sides of a cardboard box that had "Dreadnought" written on it.

To the right of the Spawnought, two real Dreadnoughts stood, "Hey, is it just me or is there something weird about the new guy?" one asked.

"Weird how?"

"I don't know there's just something off about him"

"I don't see it my self"

Daka'nal groaned to himself as he left the Dreadnoughts to their chat.

Just as he was about to leave the hanger a voice called after him.

"P-please don't go!" the voice timidly cried from somewhere in the hanger. It was a soft young feminine voice, perhaps a girl in her early teens.

Daka'nal paused, 'A girl here! With all the madness that has befallen me I shouldn't be surprised. She's probably a slave, sent to clean the small hard to reach parts of the vehicles, who has become enamoured of my awesome visage. Oh great now I'm doing it' the Daemon Prince returned to the hanger bay to find his shy admirer. After all he was the Chaos Gods' gift to women, and men if they happen to worship Slaanesh, standing at seven feet eight inches with sharp features and covered in armour/muscle with manly scars (thanks to the Spawn). With one horn blown of (Spawn) and huge bat-like, no _dragon-like_, wings that were tattered into a web-like design (Spawn again) he was the picture of perfection. Whoever this girl was she would soon find that being Daka'nal's _personal_ servant was a rewarding if short vocation, provided you had an open mind and strong bones.

Daka'nal stopped roundabout where he thought the voice had come from, "So where are you? Show your self!" he demanded.

"I'm right in front of you" the voice replied in a shy sweet tone.

Daka'nal sighed defeated for what seemed like the millionth time today, "You're a Land Raider…" he stated, realising that the voice was coming from the pink and black Land Raider in front of him.

"Y-yes, my name is Annabel. What's yours?" _she_ asked politely but with a slight nervous quiver in her voice.

Daka'nal was silent for a moment, the fact that a Land Raider had a young teenage girl's voice, was named Annabel and apparently had a crush on him was a lot of unfamiliar madness for one Daemon Prince to process. Finally he spoke, "I am the Daemon Prince, Daka'nal, Commander of this Chaos force! And now I must retire to my quarters as I have a migraine…a statement I expect to make several times over the course of this ordeal" with that he left but not before his Land Raider admirer expressed the most sugar sweet wishes of speedy recovery imaginable upon him.

Planet Book Alpha (Homeworld of the One Space Marines Chapter+

Footer (Fortress-monastery of the One Space Marines Chapter+

The One chapter of Space Marines, the most devout and loyal servants of the God-Emperor, have congregated within the hallowed halls of their ancient fortress-monastery to be addressed by Chapter Master Simon Smith. After much debate and meditation upon pressing issues, at last the great Chapter Master will proclaim the wisdom gleamed from his prayers to the Battle-brothers.

Chapter Master Smith, famed for being as close to the level of divinity held by the Emperor then any mortal man has ever achieved before, stood before the devout Marines. Raising his noble melodic voice, speaks unto the gathered mass of righteous worriers, "After we convert to Chaos we'll call our selves the Prologues!"

Yes well…

After making his announcement, the Bastard-Lord Simon "Slaughter your sons and daughters" Smith sank smugly into his throne and listened to the vulgar cheers of his murderous, death-mongering horde. (2)

Planet Killer+

Corridor outside Daka'nal's privet quarters+

Daka'nal stood at the door marked "Commander Daka'nal's room, keep out…unless you're Daka'nal". Opening the door to his room he was greeted by several Chaos Spawn wearing hats that read "Sorcerer", one in particular was holding a very distinctive staff.

"No, it's not possible…" Daka'nal insisted as the Spawn crackled with warp energy which was gathering into a massive Doom Bolt at the top of the Black Staff of Ahriman.

Abaddon was just passing the Sorcerer's gathering room when a loud bang followed by Daka'nal flying out of the door and into the wall stopped him. Looking from the Daemon's charred body sliding down the wall into a seated position to the door he realised what he had forgotten, "Oh that's right! I meant to tell you your quarters were moved to the floor above!" he said as he peeled the door label off and handed it to Daka'nal. As he walked on Abaddon called back, "Your Commander hat will be ready by tomorrow!" Daka'nal looked at the door label in his hand and thought about what had just been said.

"Why me?"

An undisclosed location within the Eye of Terror+

Ahriman's secret study+

The Thousand Sons Librarian opened boxes and swept scrolls from desks, "How could I lose my staff? It had my name on it and everything!" he complained to the Thousand Son marine standing by the door.

Ahriman scowled at him (not that he could tell with his helmet on), "Aren't you going to help? Well answer my!" Ahriman jabbed the marine in the head with his finger. As the stylised helmet clanked on the floor Ahriman stood silent for a moment.

"FLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" he cried in an ever higher pitch as he ran from his study. (3)

The two Thousand Sons standing guard outside exchanged looks, "I wander why he was so freaked out about an empty suit of power armour?"

"All is dust…"

"That's your answer for everything!"

End Transmission++

End Transmission, Please++

End Transmission, For the love of the God-Emperor++

End Transmission, MAKE IT STOP++

Transmission Ended+++

(1)I think that's right? It's been ages since I've seen the original Star Trek.

(2)In every chapter I'm going to do a little bit about a Space Marine Chapter. They won't all be like this one.

(3)This is an obscure reference to the first series of Black Adder (British Historical comedy). In one of the episodes Edmund "Black Adder" Plantagenet is appointed as the Archbishop of Canterbury, which is extremely unfortunate as his father (Richard III) has a habit of killing whomever holds this position after wealthy men leave their estates to the Church instead of the Crown. Not being well liked by his father anyway, Black Adder attempts to escape before officially taking his new position in Canterbury, exclaiming 'flee' before packing up his various torture implements and preparing to make a brake for freedom.

If you've read the original version of this story I'd like to know how my second attempt shapes up and if you haven't then let me know what you think of the story anyway. Like I said at the top there will be more of a story in following chapters, this one was just to set the scene and give you an idea of what to expect. Please review, thanks!


	2. The Cringing Chaos

The Planet Killer 

General Purpose room 0001 (a.k.a The Spare Storage Hanger) 

Abaddon sat silent at the head of a finely polished oak conference table with Daka'nal directly opposite him and several Chaos Spawn wearing "Sargent" hats seated along both ends.

Daka'nal opened his fanged mouth to speak, paused then burred his face in his clawed hands for the seventh time since the 'meeting' had started, "Do not concern your self, Commander. I have not been able to think of where to start ether!" Abaddon explained. Daka'nal mumbled something about, "that wasn't what I was going to say" but his words were too muffled to be heard.

1 hour earlier

Daka'nal entered the storage hanger and considered, with that feeling of dread he got far too often lately, the long wooden table Abaddon and several Spawn were siting at. Abaddon greeted him and told Daka'nal to sit in the specially made seat at the other end of the table.

"There has never been an army like this before so I think we should do something besides attack the Cadian Gate…any ideas?" Abaddon announced as Daka'nal took his seat with a sigh.

"How do we avoid the Cadian Gate? I mean, don't we have to use it to get out of the Eye…er my Lord" Daka'nal inquired as he watched the Spawn swivelling in their chairs. Abaddon grinned knowingly, "no Commander, we are going to use a recently opened passage I discovered yesterday" he explained.

"Once we by pass the Cadian Gate we can strike anywhere we desire but where to start?"

present

"THAT'S IT!" Daka'nal screamed and leaped from his chair as the Spawn fell out of theirs.

"What's it?" Abaddon inquired eagerly, not caring that his entire command staff was riving on the floor like flipped turtles.

Daka'nal sank back into his chair and grinned evilly, "we attack Planet 8926253462565918572-564834846240518206506.1/A!" he said in as dramatic a tone as he could considering he had just suggested a planet with a number for a name.

Abaddon scratched his forehead, extremely carefully as he was still wearing the Talon of Horus but what choice did he have he couldn't get the damn thing off. Daka'nal noted his loony lord's confusion and elaborated, "planets often get their names from some significant event, and what could be more significant than being decimated by your ah our grand army?" he explained, hoping he sounded convincing.

Abaddon nodded approvingly, "you have a point Commander, and an entire planet brought to ruins and then forever named after its ruination would make an excellent start to our campaign" Abaddon smiled as he imagined the 'Chaos' of it all. Daka'nal sighed as he to imagined the 'Chaos' of it all but it didn't matter, it was all a ruse to jump ship at the first opportunity.

Planet 8926253462565918572-564834846240518206506.1/A 

Planetary Governor Grant's office 

Governor Grant sat behind his desk reading tithe reports for this quarter when his personal Scribe, Fel, burst through the door, "Governor! Governor the Astropath has just received word that an Inquisitor is due to arrive in City 1's spaceport!" the frantic Scribe explained.

The Governor jumped to his feet, "By the Emperor, do you know what this means? We could finally name this stupid mud ball!" he said excitedly.

"But Governor, if an Inquisitor is coming here he must have a reason! What if he suspects you of heresy or what if there is an insidious cult among the populace?" the Scribe bit his lower lip worriedly.

Governor Grant thought for a moment, "well I'm not a heretic and this entire planet only has one populated area, consisting of you, me and a small citizenry so I doubt there is anything to worry about" he explained. The Scribe made a worried groaning sound and scuffled off to prepare for the Inquisitor's arrival.

The Planet killer 

Teleport chamber 

Abaddon thought for a moment, "so you think I should go alone, Commander?" he asked eyeing the vox-caster suspiciously.

"Absolutely my Lord. Think of the dramatic impact it will have on the populace when the Despoiler himself teleports directly onto the landing port of the main space port" Daka'nal's voice replied.

Abaddon could not argue the logic of the Daemon's words so with an oath to Chaos Abaddon ordered the teleport device be activated.

Planet 8926253462565918572-564834846240518206506.1/A 

Space Port 

Abaddon materialised directly on the Space Port landing port, "I am Lord Abaddon!" he proclaimed, suddenly a great cheer erupted from all around. A small group (the entire population) had gathered at the Space Port, apparently waiting for his arrival, "Welcome my lord, Abaddon, as you can see we are all fateful" a podgy man wearing slightly dated governor's garb explained as a nervous looking Scribe jotted down his words.

The Scribe considered Abaddon's appearance, "forgive me Lord Abaddon but your appearance is most unexpected. When we heard an Inquisitor would be coming we did not expect…" before the Scribe could continue the Governor cut him off, "yes, we certainly did not expect one as great as your self to grace our completely fateful world, right Scribe Fel?" Governor Grant said with an insisting expression.

Abaddon thought for a second then turned and activated his vox-caster, "this is Abaddon, cancel the invasion the planet has been taken over by a local Chaos cult. Re-deploy our forces to engage an inbound Inquisitor" he ordered. Abaddon paused, "Inform Daka'nal of the situation, I'll let him deal with the Imperial lapdog, Abaddon out!" he turned back to the Governor and his nervous Scribe, "All is well" Abaddon stated before walking off with his assigned guide.

Governor Grant sighed as he watched 'Inquisitor' Abaddon walk off, "you see, Fel, nothing to worry about" he stated happily to the still concerned Scribe.

The Planet Killer 

Escape Pod Camber Six 

"Commander!" a voice sounded over Daka-nal's vox-caster as he prepared one of the pods for launch. His crimson eyes narrowed at the sound, "I told you not to disturb me" he growled in reply.

The Tech-adapt on the other end paused, "I apologise Commander, it's just…Lord Abaddon instructed me to inform you that the planet has been taken over by a local Chaos cult and you are to intercept an inbound Inquisitor, sorry" the vox-caster went silent as did it's owner.

It is said that at that moment every Psyker in the Galaxy looked up as one, as though a great cry had been heard. Then they all shrugged, decided it was nothing and went back to what they were doing.

The Western Fringe of the Galaxy 

Viewing Station of the Battle Barge Watchful Watcher 

"Join the Two Chapter, be the watchmen of the Western Fringe, BAH!" Brother Faufern grumbled as he starred into the nothingness of the beyond-the-known-space area. Brother Jost rolled his eyes, though his helmet was on so you couldn't tell, "give it a rest will you, you whinny git" he ordered, even though they were the same rank.

"But nothing ever happens over here, it all happens in the East" Faufern explained.

Jost sighed, "yeah I know, but we have to be ready in case of anything. The Tyranids could attack, Chaos could gain a foothold, the Orks could amass a Waaaaagh, the Eldar could attack our shipping lanes, the Necrons could have several Tomb Worlds in this area or an entirely new threat could emerge. See?" Jost asked as he tried to catch his breath.

Just then Head Librarian Kirl looked up from his book of arcane lore, "it was nothing…" he shrugged and continued reading.

Faufern considered all his Battle Brother had said, "well I hope all that doesn't happen all at once" just then alarms began to sound, "you just had to say something…" Jost grumbled irritably.

Planet 8926253462565918572-564834846240518206506.1/A 

Tau Outpost [Not-Doing-Anything-Wrong 

Command Centre 

Commander Shadowsun scowled at the endless barren desert beyond the view port, "why are we here anyway?" she asked the nearest Fire Warrior.

At that moment Aun'shee (no not him) the Ethereal gasped in shock, "WHAT?! What, are we under attack?" Shadowsun asked as she and the Fire Warriors took up defensive positions. Aun'shee (I swear it's not him) sighed deeply, "I felt a disturbance, as if a single voice cried out in despair and nobody cared. This could be a sign of terrible things to come…or some Daemon's having a really bad day" she explained (see, it's a girl "Aun'SHEe it's a pun, get it).

End Transmission 

Transmission Has Ended, oh wait 

If I'm Still Talking Then It Hasn't Ended 

Yes I now it wasn't as funny as the first chapter but I swear the next one is going to be good, great, THE MOST AWSOME THING EVER!!!!!! Well it will begin the plot properly…yes there is a plot.

I was trying to create a joke within a joke within a joke, firstly by implying that as the reader you would assume I had misspelled Aun'shi rather than it being a different character. Secondly the name is a pun on the pronunciation of "shi" as shee which is also the third person pronoun for a female, which the character turns out to be though the original is male. Lastly I explain the punch line of the original pun that in of itself is a type of gag. It works on so many levels…by the way this explanation is also a joke.


End file.
